Recently I took a vacation to South East Asia with a friend and on that trip there were a few events that made me ponder over ‘our journey’ and our relationships.
We had spent time in various hostels and got a chance to meet quite a few travellers from different countries and it was a great experience to know them albeit for a short time but it is the ‘departure’ that made me ruminate about a few things.
We would meet people, go on hikes together, have late night chats and then within hours or in a day or two we parted, going on our separate ways. There was once this couple we met from Holland, had great conversations and the next day we come back in the evening and they had checked out! No chance to say goodbye! Doesn’t it sound analogous to our lives?
In our ‘journey’ of life, we meet many other fellow travellers who are on ‘their own’ journey. With some we travel together for many years like family/friends, some for months or less perhaps colleagues or people we meet for a brief amount of time.
Quite often we ‘travellers’ part without a chance to say a proper goodbye. Like in the case of a sudden death of a loved one which can fill us with remorse thinking about the things left unsaid, maybe not forgiving them for something we had been holding onto or maybe seeking forgiveness from them, or simply regretting not spending more time with them or not expressing the love we had within as much as we could have. When he/she were around we were busy caught up in the web of our desires, our ‘wants’, waste thoughts that we didn’t really have much to share with them.
We are all travellers and we have absolutely no idea till when we will be travelling together. The departure can be very sudden in many cases. To really make sure we have a great relationship with our fellow travellers so that on their departure there is no regret and only good wishes for the their next or further journey, we need to take care of the little things while we our travelling together.
Genuinely care for the other person, listen intently, be kind, accept one the way they are. Don’t give energy to their shortcomings or weaknesses instead celebrate their strengths and virtues. All this can only happen when we do our inner work. Only when we work on ourselves we can offer something of great value to this world. It is working on ‘Who Am I?’ – Feeling the true self. Don’t be so caught in the web of your ‘I want’ that you miss out on giving. The love that is within us, the joy that is within us shouldn’t be left unexpressed. Let the vibrations of love flow through you to everyone around you.
When the mind is silenced, the true self is revealed. As we silence the mind the more ‘full’ we feel. If the soul feels ‘full’ or content then it will be a ‘giver’ not a taker. You feel ‘full’ when you are ‘you’! Unfortunately, everyone around and all the ‘motivational speakers’ will tell you to be a ‘go-getter’ but in reality the world is desperately yearning for ‘go-givers’! As we practice self awareness, waste thoughts reduce and we find more spaces between our thoughts and it is in this space love emerges. In this space – acceptance, kindness, care and everything needed for a beautiful relationship automatically emerges.
Knowing that each traveller is on their own individual journey will allow us to accept people the way they are instead of us trying to change them. Quite often we try to change people and end up being frustrated and disappointed simply because one can’t change other people. Heck! We have such a hard time transforming ourselves, let alone transforming other people. One can get inspired by you without you wanting it, to an extent that they want to transform themselves but trying to transform them by force or dominance won’t work. Even if they do, it would be superficial and not a genuine one.
Everybody has their own story, own set of challenges, own set of baggage, own share of disappointments that we know nothing about. If one is behaving a certain way, let us not judge them instead accept them the way they are. We don’t know what all they are carrying. (Refer to this post for more on this)
So my fellow traveller, let us be aware that each one here is on a unique journey and our fellow travellers will travel with us for a limited amount of time. So till the time we are travelling together, let us share the love and joy within to everyone around us.